If you were a person
you'd have skin the color of the galaxy; ever-changing
hues of purple, blue, pink, salmon gold
your eyes would hold the world
any question answered the second someone looked into them;
42 would not suffice
your hair fading into oblivion
years of headbanging catching up to you

your fingers callused from playing every instrument for millenia
& yet your touch warm, inviting
you'd know how to give the best hugs
                                      the best motivation
                                      the best advice
i remember 357 days ago
what you gave me as i stared at the night sky dotted with stars
for the first time in two months i cried
i could finally feel something

i remember 7 months ago
what you have me as tears sprinted down my cheek 
not from sadness or loss, but from pride and joy
my streak had progressed over a month
it's the little victories that mean the most

i remember this morning
what you gave me
what you always give me
a reason to keep going
because if i quit
i'd never get to meet you again in any form.

sometimes i think of myself as a weaver
creating something from nothing
allowing my fingers to dance over the keys
                                                      the strings
                                                      the drum pad
& in my personal haven
i breathe air with a clarity others only dream about
my eyes open; i see the universe you've laid out for me
                        i see the universe you've laid out for everyone
& yet it feels like it was made for me


the colors behind my eyelids;
fingertips straning to touch, manipulate
you control me &
i am a puppet by your strings
to learn to fly is the hardest thing i've done
but you brought me each feather
& i'll keep them under my shoulder blades forever

too much &
never enough
for me